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A Blasphemic Journey to the Holy Land
Day 0, Travel to Jerusalem (and keep your passport clean from any trace of the "zionost entity") Day 1: Wet hijab day at Banana beach, Tel Aviv Day 2: "yes, Mame, me and Shlomo are sitting here on an ice-cream; I promise ..." Day 3: Sunset on Tel Aviv Beach, the Big Orange Day 4: Jaffa Cafe: Delicious Menue Day 5: Tel Aviv: Russian Immigrant is doing Sewage Fishing on Tel Avivs Carmel Market Day 6: Jaffa: In addition to the many beautiful Arab girls, there are also very enchanting Jewish ones, like the one next to me (dont try to date her, since she is my wife now) Day 7: Jerusalem, YMCA Guesthouse : In the tradition of the crusaders - but after adopting a more tolerant policy they also serve non-gay customers nowadays. Day 8: Marmilla Street near Jaffa Gate, Jerusalem: Each stone tells a story. Day 9: Jerusalem: Gentlemen prefer blond (at least here, where it is still considered something exotic) Day 10: Old town Jerusalem: Bargaining for the price of grapes. Day 11: Old town Jerusalem: Cooling down the mood with some icecream. Day 12: Jerusalem, Church of Sepulchre: For those who believe in it, this red stone plate on which Jesus was layed down after his death, can do miracles. I tested it with my mobile phone, and indeed it got fully recharged after placing it there for just one minute.
Day 13: Jerusalem/Al Kuds: School is out in the Arab quarter Day 14: Jerusalem: Goes together very well: Tasty Taybeh beer from Palestine and genetically modified Cherry-Tomatoes from Israel Day 15: Jerusalem/Al Kuds: Sabbath at western wall. Day 16: Qumran / Death Sea: The dream of many young folks: Exodus to South America Day 17: En Gedi / Death Sea: Taking a refreshing bath where King Solomon met Suleika. Day 18: Death Sea Shore: Baywatch at 42 degrees. Day 19: Haifa / Bahai Garden: Members only (unless you fit through this fence) Day 20: Haifa / Alenby street: Kosher rubbish bins: left one for milky products, righ one for fleshy products. Day 21: Haifa / Allenby street: The Sadam Hussein memorial shelters. Day 22: Jerusalem / Al Kuds: Western Wall, Mount Muriah, Dom of Rock at the beginning of Sabbath. Day 23: Jad Vashem: The Tree to honour Oskar Schindler. Day 24: Jerusalem/Al Kuds: Top Soccer Players. Arab boys build their playground on the roofs of christian or jewish houses. Day 25: Tel Aviv / Hayarkon Park: Red Hot Chilly Peppers concert Day 1 after returning home: Reading Saul Bellows "To Jerusalem and return" and trying to understand how much I missed and why I should come back.