Hi Ghazal, my Dear,
How is your evening ? What do you do against the Blues. Yesterday during the Paolo Nutini concert we spoke about the meaning of "getting the blues". Today it seemed to me that you are also not completely free from getting melancholic without any obvious reason. Maybe it only happens if I am around, or maybe it is because you haven"t seen your family for such a long time.
I would so much like to be a secret observer when you are alone at home and feel free and relaxed and do what you like to do, like cook something or do the laundry or watch a movie. I"d like to see how your face changes then. I assume you will have this expression of complete absence in your eyes that I remember when you were sitting in the first row during the lecture.
I am probably right assuming that your are very introvert, trying to solve all problems by taking them home with you. You rarely ask somebody for help, I mean not help when a PCR evaporates, but help if you are not sure any more where to go and what to choose from the thousands of possible options every day. I would like to help you, but the only think I am quite sure about is that it is good for you to show you some nice places and events. With a few exceptions, it always seemes we like that same moments and places, and these are days you will never regret.
With the more longterm decision I much more hesitate to suggest something. If I say "Take a challenging PhD project in a high-class institution somewhere in Europe", maybe you will not be happy at the end. Difficult to predict in advance. The only thing I know, Ghazal, is that you have all prerequisites to become a successful and therefore happy woman. You have an excellent profession, a specialisation that will have absolute priority in the future, because people will realize more and more how important physical and mental health is and that all luxury goods and all money means nothing if you are ill. Therefore, much more ressources and money will go into this research in the future, and many intelligent scientists will be needed. And you will be one of them, thats for sure.
Just don"t panic, don"t fall into despair if it does not always goes fast and straight. There will always be people to help you, at least I will always be there if you need help or advice.
I went to a DVD-rental today and rent the Al-Pacino "Insomnia". I now do a copy for you, my dear.
Enjoy the evening, sleep well, recover, have fun during the REM phases (but send me a few words before, please)
melancholic is when you are sad right? im not sad..why do you think im melancholic..
not much to see haha, i just kind of sit/lay on the sofa, and put the computer in front of me. i was eating indian food and some of the "salad" i bought with you, it is nice. but couldnt eat all even if i wanted to, it was too much.anyways, i fell so tired during the movie so i slept and just woke up again.
actually, i ask my mum for help a lot. i tell her everything of what i do and what i think and ask her for advise and so on. we are very close, like friends. and i always trust her. i know that she would never want anything bad for me. im kind of dependent on her.
for the phd that you showed me, i did not feel that it was something for me. a lot of physics, with protons and so on i felt.
thank you for having so much believe in me. but i could be anyone, there is nothing special with me when it comes to science. i just try to do my job like anyone else would.
thank you for making a copy of the insomnia (even if i dont think its legal). did you find gladiator movie? if not,, maybe i can ask my brother to bring one from home so u can borrow. or maybe he can make a copy. (if he is in a "helping-sister-out" mode).
take care and good night.
Maybe melancholia is not the right word, maybe it is rather an expression of absolute quiescence coming from deep inside of your soul. I don"t mean I"m worried, I"m just fascinated and try to understand.
And therefore,if you say "nothing special to see", it is because you cannot see the changes in your eyes I might see.
It must be wunderful to have such a close relation with mum or dad as you have. In my situation its very different, I always have to try and solve the probems of my parents, they always expect that I listen to their problems and advise them or help.
I guess you already adapted your freefall position meanwhile. Just one last thing I"d like to know: Do you wait in the evening to receive a message from me, or is the more a burden for you to read it ?
Take Care, my dear
a very late answer.
yes it is nice to be close to your parents. but im not that close to my dad. i meet him and have fun with him. but i dont share my thinkings and everything with him. but its fine. but it is good as well to not be close to your parents and to be independent.
yes its nice to recieve emails from you. its not a burden.
hope that u have a nice starfish position tonight.